It has been 9+ months.....

So long never blog....dont really like to write, and too lazy to anyway....but well, every heartbreak, i need a source of venting out, so here it is. Doesnt matter if anyone reads at all, maybe i m typing to myself... but I m...

To let go or not?

Been a simple & pleasurable trip with you.... you said u wanna turn str8, u wanna get married, u lost the feeling for me. Wat can I say?

I m still going your place on weekends when u book out, i m still pretending it is like before, i m still caring n buying u supper, but... M i happy in a 1 sided love? I dunno.....maybe i m, but its just not enuff....no human can take 1 sided love forever.

Its funny how we started, or we didnt really started? but WE had/have/having? sweet times... tats wat is so hard to let go. Its really tiring getting use to 1 guy, then have to end it, and heal, and move on, get to know another new one.

I dont like changes, well at least i m not a changing starsign. I want things to be like they are, Frens, Love, eternal youth? i know they r not possible, everything ends one day. BUt hor, isit so hard to be with ONE guy for a long long time?

Isit time for me to find a girl ? Will it be like Brokeback Mountain? Just saw this film recently with mahget n barcode, nice seeing him for the first time. Thou its a movie, it shows accurately how "troubled" AJ love is. guy love guy, guy get married n have children, guy cant forget guy, guy died n guy regret... n so on.

Man, how i hate to be bornt like this..... But i do hope you (yew), can get a girl n get married like u wanted.

Nice cute new guys appeared (20+ hor! no more teens), but i m not ready..... when will i be? i Dunno.....i dont wanna let go just yet..... cos I do treasure u alot yew..